Saturday, May 10, 2008

Since their mother became ill, sisters have given up almost everything else to care for her

Kenn Rodriguez News-Bulletin Staff Writer; krodriguez@news-bulletin.com

Meadow Lake For some people, doing something special for their moms on Mother's Day is taking them to their favorite restaurants.

For Yvonne Trujillo, what her daughters, Iesha and Teresa, do on Mother's Day will be special - but not as special as what they've done for her since she fell ill more than two years ago.

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"They bathe me, cook for me," she said sitting in their modest Meadow Lake home. "This one (Iesha) sleeps with me, she doesn't even live in her room anymore. I just want to appreciate my daughters. They're awesome. I live on disability. To me, I face a challenge every day just to bathe, to get dressed.

"And these two quit school to take care of their mom. They put me first instead of themselves," Yvonne said. "How awesome can a mother be for her kids to do that?"

Both Iesha and Teresa have been caring for their mom since the family found out Yvonne, who is just 38, had pulmonary hypertension. It's a rare disease that affects her lungs. The disease makes it hard for her to breathe and often leaves her so weak she can't get out of bed.

Yvonne said she first started noticing symptoms while working at the Wal-Mart Distribution Center in Los Lunas.

Initially, the illness was diagnosed as asthma, but Yvonne said her primary doctor, Karen Phillips, had her go to Denver for a second opinion. It was there she found out she had the illness, which is essentially high blood pressure in the lungs and is debilitating to the heart.

"It came out of nowhere. I never smoked, never did drugs," Yvonne said. "I was working at the Wal-Mart Distribution Center and going to school at night to get my CDL (commercial driver's license) to drive trucks. I started getting dizzy, I was out of breath a lot and my leg started swelling up, so I went to the doctor."

After the diagnosis, the Trujillos began making trips to Tucson to see doctors there and get treatment while waiting for Yvonne to be put on the organ donation list to get a lung transplant.

"I see so many doctors - I have a lung doctor, a new heart doctor," Yvonne said. "I have great doctors. We go to Tucson about every three months, which gets expensive, especially on disability. But this one (Iesha), she's a youth leader at Grace Fellowship, she says 'God will provide a way.'"

Both Iesha, 17, and Teresa, 21, who her mom affectionately calls "Shorty", dropped out of Los Lunas High School when they learned of their mother's illness. Their older sister, Irene, 23, lives in Rio Rancho and provides some monetary support and visits when she can. They also have family from the area around Yvonne's hometown of Truchas, N.M., visit from time to time.

Iesha said the decision to leave school for now was easy.

"I was going to Los Lunas High School, but when she started getting worse I didn't want to get that scary phone call that said my mom was in an emergency room," she said.

Teresa was in a worse situation because she often had to drive her mom to doctors' appointments.

"I was in school, but I got missed so many days going with my mom to the doctor's appointments that I just fell too far behind," she said.

Both said they're slowly working on their GED diplomas now but concentrate on taking care of their mom.

Iesha said the entire experience of finding out their mom was sick was stressful.

"I thought things would be great. Then she ends up getting sick and our whole lives changed. Everything had to change, and everything was really scary," she said.

"I didn't like going to school because I was always afraid for her. I really didn't know what was going on because I was in school. I kind of see it, like, there will always be time for school. Eventually I'll do what I need to do for my future. But right now, I have to be with her."

Teresa said she dealt with her mom's illness in her own way.

"When I first found out she was sick, I didn't really feel anything," she said. "But I usually box it in, hold it in. Everyone tells me I need to be the strong one. And I pretty much try to be. There are times I get sad, of course."

Both said they've grown closer as a result of helping their mom.

"We were like typical sisters, on the edge and bashing heads," Iesha said. "But we actually get along much better now."

"If we do get mad at each other, we just let it go," Teresa said. "We'll get over it sooner or later. We'll get over it and just say something dumb and then laugh about it."

Iesha said her mom's illness also made her think about where her life was heading.

"Before my mom got sick, I was really bad," she said. "I was starting to drink and do drugs, partying — being a typical bad teenager. When she got sick, I knew it gave her a lot of stress, what I was doing. So I snapped."

Iesha joined the Los Lunas' Grace Fellowship Church's Freedom youth group and is currently a youth leader there.

"It's helped, and they've helped me a lot," she said. "Since I don't go to school, I don't make many friends. So there I've made a lot of friends. They help me so I can help my mom."

The Trujillos say they're hoping to get a van so they can take her Hoveround electric wheelchair out of the house - now they have to push her around in a wheelchair which can be hard for the girls to handle at times.

For now, they say they're concentrating on getting to Arizona for Yvonne's next round of appointments and hoping that she will be added to the transplant list.

While the family has gotten help from Grace Fellowship and their landlords Tim and Susie Nicholson of Living Word Baptist Church of Albuquerque and appreciate it, Yvonne said she's amazed at times by the sacrifices her daughters are making for her.

"I call it our journey in life," Yvonne said. "And I know there's no cure for my illness. I just want my girls to know how much I appreciate them."

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